Category: Self-Reflection
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Ending on a High Note: Carrie the Musical is a Wrap
It’s been nearly two months since I joined the team of Carrie: The Musical for tech, and then shows. There have been a lot of bittersweet moments in those last nearly two months regarding this production. I was severed from my social life (lack of weekend availability will do that) but I also got to…
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It’s Kinda Sorta (Almost) Finished
It’s finally crunch time. I’m going to publish this damn book if it’s the last thing I do. I’ve talked about The Fields from time to time on this blog, and that’s all it’s ever been… talk. Now I will do. And it’s going to happen in the next two months. That’s as risky of…
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This Damn House
I bought a house today. Those five words seem pretty easy to say, but I’ve been waiting more than eight months to say them. The path to homeownership has had its fair share of turmoil (okay, let’s be fair: every inch of the goddamn way was turmoil), but I’ve finally closed. No take-backs. A lot…
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Fight! Fight! Fight!
I’ve been practicing how to yell. A friend and I have been working on an improv show that explores relationship issues. It is for sure the most serious improv I have ever attempted, and the same for my scene partner, and boy, does it feel weird. The form involves discovering a relationship problem on stage,…
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Learning To Be Selfish
I don’t know who swore first — me, or my therapist. But the feeling was mutual: there was a point where my awkwardness began to melt away, and more and more I found myself able to be me. I’m not sure if she does this on purpose, but my therapist naturally inserts her very being…
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Hope Sucks
I don’t get why everyone’s so in love with the concept of hope. Seriously. Everybody’s all like, “Don’t give up hope,” and “Without hope, we’re nothing.” But can we just take a moment to differentiate between the words, want, hope, and fantasy? Want. Noun. A desire for something. Hope. Noun. A feeling of expectation and…
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My Only Resolution
A new year means another twelve months of trying to get things done in a timely fashion. A new year means trying to perform improv without being in my head. A new year means shmoozing with people I have no idea how to shmooze with. A new year means having to put effort into looking…
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Show Your Heart
“What am I in the eyes of most people – a nonentity, an eccentric, or an unpleasant person – somebody who has no position in society and will never have; in short, the lowest of the low. All right, then – even if that were absolutely true, then I should one day like to show…
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Anxiety
White-knuckled moments, Rapid eye movements, Too many measuring cups, Not enough trust. The list is smeared, The counter a mess, I spent too much time And I made too much fuss. Into the bowl, now, The shell breaks apart, And it’s pooling, impossible, Spoiled. If I can’t do this properly, What do I have? I…